Can you spare me the god stuff. Thank you ever so much.
You might be missing things that once made you feel like yourself. A lover, sex, home, and money are fine, but they all came after a certain point in your life. What did you have before? How did you spend time with yourself? What are you doing for yourself now? It's hard, especially when you get into the mood of reflecting on it. I used to write, but I let other parts of my life (like my love, my work, or just being tired) numb it out of me. I'm trying to get it back.
Spend some time with yourself, figure out a few things that you'd like to accomplish for your own enjoyment, and do them - you can feel free to share with others. You might find everyone around you suddenly happier.
Ennui. I suppose that's why we're sitting in front of monitors, trying to feel something real, something different. I think I'll go for some air now.
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July 27th, 2006 at 10:31 pm
Because that is just material/ physical stuff. Ever heard money can't buy you happiness? Maybe you feel like you lack a purpose. You could have everything in the world, but if you have no purpose or feel like there's no point, then does it matter what you have? You said spare the "god stuff," but the point of religion is not to put you in with some "group" of people that "makes up stuff" and dictates rules to suppress society, etc. Christianity is about believing and having a relationship with God. I hope that you will be open minded and give it some thought. You're unhappy anyway, what do you have to lose by whole heartedly trying to find your purpose and why you are here on this earth. Good luck. ^_^
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July 27th, 2006 at 10:31 pm
I'd be happy to answer your question without judging or using spirituality.
Your "ennui" may just be the early stages of a depression creeping up on you. If we go up Maslow's Hierarchy, it's a matter of certain needs being met. It is possible to be loved, have your physical safety taken care of and still be bored with your own existence.
I suggest finding something individual for yourself, even if it's something you think might not synch with your image. It's probably nothing for a therapist, but you're craving spontaneity.
Even if you're not a spontaneous person, let something else happen that throws you off.
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July 27th, 2006 at 10:34 pm
You might be missing things that once made you feel like yourself. A lover, sex, home, and money are fine, but they all came after a certain point in your life. What did you have before? How did you spend time with yourself? What are you doing for yourself now? It's hard, especially when you get into the mood of reflecting on it. I used to write, but I let other parts of my life (like my love, my work, or just being tired) numb it out of me. I'm trying to get it back.
Spend some time with yourself, figure out a few things that you'd like to accomplish for your own enjoyment, and do them - you can feel free to share with others. You might find everyone around you suddenly happier.
Ennui. I suppose that's why we're sitting in front of monitors, trying to feel something real, something different. I think I'll go for some air now.
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July 27th, 2006 at 10:35 pm
It's a sign of demotion. Prepare for the downward journey.
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July 27th, 2006 at 10:36 pm
What ever you already "have" you take for granted. When things
get too comfortable and settled, people can feel like they are in a rut.
Add some new goals to your life, that challenge you and you can be excited about.
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July 27th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
A lot of psychologists currently believe that humans have three basic emotional needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Basically, we need to feel that we have a say in life events (large and small), that we are skilled in something important, and that we have sufficient connections with others. When all three of these needs are met, we feel content.
For a lot of people, especially those who have met their need for competence, discontent arises from a lack of autonomy or a lack of relatedness. Oftentimes, these two needs may be in apparent contradiction: the desire to make a career move that would allow someone to be his own boss might jeopardize the family's financial stability and trust in him, for example.
Do you ever feel that you're just going through the motions? You go to work because you should, spend time with your loved ones because you should, mow the lawn and pay the bills because you should, and it feels like someone else controls all of your actions? Do you have a boss who requires a lot from you, compensates you well, but won't allow you the power to make decisions? Do you feel trapped because you feel that you can't make decisions that are self-serving? You may not be feeling sufficient autonomy (freedom, independence, self-reliance, power). This is pretty common.
Do you see your friends as much as you used to before you fell in love? Do you have sufficient social support outside of your relationship? Do you feel that you matter in others' lives, and that their lives matter to you? All of these things are important for relatedness.
These are just some ideas…it's a pretty intereresting theory. Hope this helps, or at least gets you asking yourself some interesting questions.
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July 27th, 2006 at 10:39 pm
You've lost yourself…It happend to me…but the good thing about losing yourself is rebuilding yoursself and find new ways to fulfil that part of you that is a bit empty.
I found electronic music (and I know it's not for everyone so don't slag it off) when I was about 24. Really fell in love with it and now I'm learning to mix, having a cracker of a time and have made more friends through this hobby of mine. I'm also putting on trance parties and just loving it, It filled something inside me that I lost in my marriage…
Good Luck
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