Over many years I have been horrible to my wife, who is a lovely person. I deeply regret this and hate myself for it. How best can I make amends and bring some joy and happiness into her life? I think she stopped loving me a long time ago but I don't think she hates me.
Actions speaks louder than word. My husband did some things that made me stop loving him in the first few years of our marriage, but he has made up for it and I love him more now than ever before. It will take time, but if you put your heart and soul into making your wife happy she will remember why she fell in love with you. Hopefully that works for you. Good luck and maybe you will think before you hurt her again.
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:27 am
Go to marriage counseling to talk it out.
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:28 am
Why have you been so horrible to her and what has suddenly made you realise this? I think she must deep down love you otherwise she would surely have left you by now.
Perhaps cook her a nice candlelit dinner and talk to her, tell her that you realise you have treated her badly and would like to make amends. Try suggesting that you start "dating" again and going back to how you were when you first met. Good luck whatever you do!
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:30 am
Take her on a romantic holiday.
Buy her flowers, tell her you love her. Tell her something nice each day.
Tell her she is beautiful. Talk to her, listen to her if she has problems.
Buy her sometimes a little thing that you saw and you think she might like.
Show that you regret what you did and feel guilty.
Ask her what you asked here - this would be the Best Answer.
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:31 am
start by being a real man and a real husband to her…if she leaves you then it's your own fault and if she has fallen out of love with you, thats your fault too…you have prolly made her so unhappy in the years that you have been with her, that she prolly don't care about you any more….and i don't blame her…treat her good before she finds someone younger and nicer
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:31 am
there is different ways people find love, try finding out hers….
showing her not tell her.
good luck dont ruin a good thing!
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find the book "The five languages of love" by: Gary Chapman
April 5th, 2007 at 6:32 am
* Make it up to her by taking her on a holiday of her choice , and take her on a shopping spree , let her choose a restaurant of her choise to go to . And tell her you love her more than anything in the whole world and you are sorry for taking her for granted and you will never do it again ( And mean it ). Show her how much you love her by just always being there for her when she needs you the most Good Luck *
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:32 am
you could go to marriage guidance and try and work things out from there, it will probably make or break your relationship, but then you both know where you stand, good luck x
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:33 am
Are you doing anything about it now or are you still doing the same crap? Admit you were wrong for treating her so horribly and causing her pain for now damn reason,ask her if she will allow you to make things right in your marriage and tell her to be patient with you because you are not perfect. STOP BEING SO SELFISH TOO!!!! Good luck
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:33 am
you cant purposely force someone to love you- everyone knows that. we could mildly just have a fling that we think is love. if you feel the desperate need to fix things with her- treat her like the queen she is!
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:34 am
If she's forgiven you lots of times before, then you,ve been a git afterwards, she's probably had enough of it. She probably cares about you, but once the love and trust has gone altogether, I don't think you can get it back
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:35 am
Sometime it takes time for someone to get over certain pain caused by loved ones, especially husband. you should try talk to her and above all please do Apologise to her. Give her your assurance of compassion to her as a loving husband once again. Give her affection, love,……
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Earn it. Talk about it. Go to counseling. Do whatever she needs to do. Good luck.
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:43 am
im sorry you cant make her love you,she has to want to love you and it has to be natural not forced
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April 5th, 2007 at 6:48 am
Actions speaks louder than word. My husband did some things that made me stop loving him in the first few years of our marriage, but he has made up for it and I love him more now than ever before. It will take time, but if you put your heart and soul into making your wife happy she will remember why she fell in love with you. Hopefully that works for you. Good luck and maybe you will think before you hurt her again.
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April 5th, 2007 at 7:35 am
first of all congratulation for realizin u were not nice to her! thas the first step n now u got to proove that u mean it. u 2 need to talk n then try to find out what she wants or expect from a perfect relationship,this is all about her needs for now. listen to it n work on it n of course surprise her with nice things. n dont forget the more personal the surprise the better, its not about money,it has to come from your heart! good luck
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April 5th, 2007 at 7:41 am
All you can really do at this point is to prove yourself!!!
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April 5th, 2007 at 7:42 am
show her in every possible way you can how much you love and appreciate her with all your heart before its too late
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April 5th, 2007 at 7:54 am
I think that it is a shame that it has taken you so long to appreciate your wife. Why were you so horrible to her in the first place. I think that you first need to apologise to your wife for you behaviour and discuss with her whether there is a future for the both of you.
If she isn't prepared to give you a chance, then you will have to accept that the marriage is over, and you will have to understand her reasons for not giving you a second chance. If on the other hand she wants to give the marriage another go, then I suggest that you talk through your problems at a counselling session and allow your wife to voice her opinions. Then you will truly discover how your wife has been feeling though the times that you have been cruel to her. I think that you will also learn how to be a better and respectful husband.
I hope that you sort out your problems, I think that if you are really willing to change and grow as a person then it will work. But you need to accept the faults that you have made, and be willing to change for the better.
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April 5th, 2007 at 9:18 am
R.D is that you.
Unfortunately if she's stopped loving you, you probably won't get that back because it's not something you can fix.
It also takes two to make a marriage work and she has to be open to your regret and willing to forgive you. So you can rebuild what youve lost. My fingers are crossed for you.
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April 5th, 2007 at 11:40 am
I have your meaning,absolutely.I still love my ex and it was my fault it ended,she did everything she could to save the marriage but i was arrogantly thinking it would never end.i still adore her.She says things now like she feels 'affection' and 'cares' for me but could never 'love' me again.It's painful,even heartbreaking and I wish i could get over it.All i can advise is to stay friends as it's very easy to hate when all you get is perceived rejection.Love her from a distance.
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April 5th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
My Dear
You have to be careful with women. Love is a funny thing when your in it you don't think that it could ever change however, when the one you love changes you start to wonder what why you ever loved them.
Just because your wife doesn't hate you doesn't mean she still loves you. My guess is that things will never again be the same. Even if she makes an attempt to start over with you there will always be that memory of how you treated her in the past. Those memories will forever stand in your way of reconciliation. You could try therapy but the reality is she may forgive you but she will never forget what you did. My advise to you is to move on and try to start another life. Next time around be mindful of the way you treat the ones you love.
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November 19th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
ive been married 3 months and my wife hates my guts, im a horrible person to her and everyone,i dont kno how to change or what to do, ive lost her and i hate myself,i love her to death and dont kno how to make anything better i want to die